These are Extreme Days
Africa is my home, I may not have been born there but it is my home, they are my family, and it is where my heart is.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Letting Go
This trip was a hard trip for multiple reasons. When I went to South Sudan I was excite to be going home! I had these ideas in my head of what all I would accomplish. We had gotten land from the government last time I was there, it was beautiful prime land on the river and ready to be built on. I was going there to build a base. In my mind that meant put up buildings have something standing when I left. I knew I only had 3 months and I was excited for what God would do. Things started off challenging it took 3 days to get to Wau instead of flying out the next day. When we did get there our students were going to start showing up within a day or two. If we had a established base this would have been simpler. However where we were there was no walmart or anything you run to and can pick up whatever you need. We were looking at the reality of our students will start showing up within days and we don't even have a mattress for them to sleep on, let alone a permanent place for them to live during the school. In a last minute miracle we were able to buy mattresses and a few other things to get things rolling for our school. One of the staff members taught the first week, and things continued to be challenging. We learned that the house we were using to house most of the staff and speakers was owned by a staff members uncle. The uncle was in government but wanted a huge amount of money to rent the house. The house had no electric, running water, or anything we would consider normal in the US but he wanted about $600 a month for his house despite most people in South Sudan who earn allot of money barely making anything close to that. In yet another last minute miracle the money came in the day someone came to evict us.
It was encouraging every time we almost ran out of money for food or anything else money came in. We were never sure how or where the next money was coming in but it always did! God was totally faithful. Emily and I went to Juba to pick up Nicole during the first week of the school, we had decided getting to Wau on her own was entirely too complicated since there was no simple and organized system in travel, or in the airport there. We made it back to Wau with Nicole and split up that week teaching about knowing God and reviewing the bible and the promise of redemption made by God. The next week another challenge our speaker was probably not coming, we had a staff meeting on friday to discuss it and I felt like I was supposed to teach. I was totally nervous I had always wanted to teach but now faced with the reality of being supposed to teach for hours a day was a little overwhelming. I kept trusting God that he would come through with what he wanted me to say. He was totally faithful, each day I used what he gave me and it was enough for what he had, to the minute.
We continued to have almost weekly challenges with finances being extremely tight. as well as speakers who were unable to make it to Wau, then a new challenge the airport got shutdown following a place crash. We thought it would be shut down for a couple days but it was still shut when we left and was supposed to be shut for at least another month. We continued sharing the teaching and a few speakers were able to find a way to make it to Wau although it included a 11 hour ride stuffed in the back of a landcruiser in what would be comparable to making a run to the US border from Mexico on dirt roads. No one who came this way was ever excited to be returning the same way.
In the midst of all this the government was hounding us asking when were we going to begin building on our property. I was excited to start building, there was money on the way and I had already drawn up the plans. After all this is why I was here, I came to build a base right? I kept talking and trying to convince the other staff and leadership that this is what we needed to do. I was totally set on this, I was convinced any money that came in needed to be put into building it was #1 priority. I was almost willing to do this at the expense of things like the budget for food. Then something my wife said one day really hit me, she said a base isn't about buildings its about our students. I had been pouring myself into the students and we were slowly seeing great transformation in them. However at the core I was here to build that was my heart, to see something physical when we left. I slowly let go of my dreams to see buildings and watched as the money was spent of food and other things that truly were needs but not my dreams. It was a bit of a death of my vision for what I envisioned coming back to south sudan.
In my mind I convinced myself then that at least I could let go of that dream and pour myself into our students. At least by the time I left I would be seeing great transformation in them and would have spent 3 months not building buildings but building up and training 7 world changers. Then that came crashing down. We had been hearing reports on Sudan bombing South Sudan since before we came however we still came here. Things had been steadily escalating between the two sides with the south being bombed more and more and the peace talks regularly failing, because ultimately the North is selfish and really wants everything of value that is the South's with nothing in return. That day something felt wrong in my spirit, I didn't feel like I could be in class or anything. The leader of another organization working in Wau came up to me and said Chris how long are you planning on staying here in Wau? He then began talking about how things were quickly getting very bad here. I told him I knew they were and had been keeping an eye on it, but was trusting God. He said that he knew and understood but I needed to really be praying about if I was supposed to keep staying or if I should be getting my wife and sister out. That was the day the plane flew over. After that it was an uphill battle to convince the UN to help us fly out. It involved about 5 trips walking to the UN compound about a mile away to get paper work submitted and then changing it multiple times when we didn't get put on the flight. We finally got on the helicopter which was actually an extremely rough and bumpy ride on a old russian helicopter. It was one of the saddest trips, I felt in a way like I had failed, I had not built a single building. I wasn't even seeing the students in the end of the school to see what they had become. I was left trusting God that somehow he was going to work this out, that he led me to give up my dream of not building and he would protect our land from the government. That he would grow our students, that he was the one who was in control of not only South Sudan but all of Africa, even evil men like Al Bashir. So now I'm in the US I can't help but feel stuck here waiting till I get to go to the only place that feels like home anymore. I'm doing my best to enjoy my time here knowing it will come one day. I'm praying about going back to school to get my RN. If you know me you know how much I hate school, however I also feel like if I'm stuck in the US I might as well do the most I can with the time I have here. Our daughter Makayla Joy is supposed to be here the middle of July so we wouldn't leave the US till 6 months after that anyways and possibly longer depending on school. It is so hard to leave my country especially in a time when they need so much help. We had been working with a group of people who had returned after being kicked out of North Sudan by the government. They literally had nothing and felt totally worthless. One woman begged and pleaded with Emily and I to take her baby so it would not starve to death. It was one of the hardest things ever to not take that orphan baby. However I know one thing, my God is alive and powerful. He has and will continue to sustain South Sudan. He is more powerful than any evil leader and one day I will go home!!! One day I will take my wife and daughter and we will be back in the country that is HOME. So I let go of my dreams that I had dreamed of in anticipation of God being faithful to give me more than I could hope or imagine!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
The Call
Tomorrow I will be teaching about counting the cost of following Christ, and is he worthy of the sacrifice. As I went over the words of Christ again and again, I couldn’t help but notice he never said come follow me and you will have a great life. He never said some of you should follow me and share my love with others. We are all called to a life of missions. Not everyone is called to live in Africa true but we are all called to be living a life that spreads the gospel to all the world. I truly believe that the US was blessed to be a blessing to the nations. I believe that the American churches are blessed beyond measure financially as well as with a wealth of information. The question is why are they so blessed? Is it because God loves Americans more? Are we just better Christians than the rest of the world? I would say again that Americans and the Christians in America are blessed because there is a mighty calling on the lives of us to spread the gospel to all the world through us. That comes two fold, if we are obeying Christ and his calling then the blessings will continue and we will be enabled to propagate the gospel to all tribes and nations. However I firmly believe that if we shrink back from the calling on the American church that we will see the blessings cease. I do not believe God will continue to bless America if we refuse to use the gifts that he has given us. In the same way that Jesus told the parable of the master who gave talents and then we he saw they were wasted and not put to use took them. I believe God will do the same. We can be involved by going to the nations, enabling others to go, praying for the nations, as well as welcoming those from other nations who come to America for training. We are all called to be missionaries I urge you to not shrink back from the Calling that God has placed in our lives.
In other news things are going well here, it has been rough and challenging, the weather is hot and there is a lot of walking and manual labor to keep things running here in the DTS. Emily has been so tough but it has been difficult for her at times. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to be here while pregnant on top of everything else going on. I am immensely proud of her however, she is such a blessing to me as well as the DTS. She is truly the one that God wanted me to have as my partner for life. The baby is growing well, and is healthy we have been checking the heart beat and it remains strong and our baby is active. Thank you again for all your prayers and support.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Church Of Jesus Christ
My Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?
Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I want to be like my Jesus!
Now fortunately the church I go to is very alive and God is active and working there. However I have to wonder why in America especially is church more about programs and the event vs the discipleship and the relationship. Anyone who knows me knows I pretty much can't stand a big church at least not being a "member" there. Something I have missed is relationship, even now with how busy the past year has been to live in relationship with other believers is a challenge. But what should church look like? What should the body of Christ look like? I was recently talking to someone about God and homosexuality and why it is such a horrible sin that the church shuns these people. My answers would likely shock many.
Unfortunately christian lack a major thing they should be full of, love. If christians acted like jesus the world would be a much better place, unfortunately homosexuality is the horrible taboo. I believe sin is sin so the lying preacher or the one who cheats on his wife with a woman is no worse than the one who does cocaine and is with a male prostitute. I believe the greatest thing anyone can give in this world is love, pure unadulterated love.
At the time the answer just kind of flowed out of me without me processing it deeply. However its got me thinking where is the love? Why is it that it seems most churches in America you go to and it is an event. What are we afraid of that the event is contained within the walls of the building. The church is the physical body, our savior did not die for buildings or programs. The coming together is to build each other up and train and equip but not to bring your "lost" friends in hopes they get "saved." What has happened to the saving message of Christ? Where is the repentance and confession of sins. When Jesus spoke people were cut to the heart they were filled with grief but when was the last time a message hit you so heavily that you could not continue living life as you had. I'm preaching to the choir here, this is what I've been feeling in my heart lately. Mainly this, do we love, is it pure unadulterated love? Sure homosexuality is a sin its bad but so is lying and cheating and stealing and a whole list of other sins. Why is it that those certain sins are the detestable ones that we can't associate with those people. You go out and ask people about Jesus they will say ohh he was full of love he died for people. You ask them about Christians and typically the response is ohh they are judgmental or hypocrites. I have been the prime example of a royal jerk and not acting Christlike at times, but this is just what God is showing me. If we truly want people to follow our Jesus we need to act like our Jesus to be him in flesh to this world. They are full of pain and hurting sure they might be a little dirty they might not say the right words or do what you think they should do. However Jesus loves them, they are just as valuable as you to him, and he died for them.
I am extremely excited to be going home I have missed my African family. It seems time and time again people because they care ask us if we are sure we should be going over there. Is it safe, would God really call us to a place so dangerous. However I can not think of another place I would rather be. When I look into the faces of my fathers children I see his heart, I see his love and I see hope. I see people who despite great hardship have endured and still have a heart of Gold. I see broken people wanting to be made whole and longing for someone to come and loves them to help bandage their wounds. You don't have to go to Africa to be like Jesus you can do that anywhere you are at that moment. Be Jesus today embody him and give him flesh in someones life today. Someone who would only expect to be rejected, because if we don't love them they will continue to search for love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJWkQ9UP_m8
Sunday, December 7, 2008
YWAM Outreach
Ok so now its the 5th of october wow its been like a week but we have done so much. We left Dallas and went to Amarillo and worked with this church camp for like 3 days and then we worked with some drug rehab and this ministry that works with the homeless. Then we came to El Paso a few days ago and set up for the Take Action. We did that yesterday it was really amazing and powerful. We are doing another church service today and we have one more in like 30 minutes. Then we are eating dinner and going to mexico. We are going to be there for 3 days then it is off to Almagordo for our take action, then its off to PERU!!! I'll put more on here later but I've got to get going. There have been so much exciting stuff going on though lots of ministry and praying for people and headaches from running sounds and stuff not working the way its supposed to. Well pray for me if you think about it. Have fun everyone.
So it is now October 10th I am in Almagordo, New Mexico we are having a better event set up this time. No trailers or trucks breaking down. Our building is built in a way that the sound is easy to do without it echoing and I'm excited. We do the event this Saturday and then we pack up and leave Sunday morning for Lindale. I'm excited though I know God is going to do some amazing things here but I am really ready to be in the jungles of Peru. I think I've been traveling to much I was trying to remember the country I'm going to next the past few weeks is such a huge blur. I'm excited though partially because I know this event is going to be amazing and I know Peru is going to be really amazing to. I don't know what else to write though I'm tired lol so you all have fun and be safe if you want.
Ok everyone so it is now October 15th I am in PERU!!! Its awesome I..m loving it here the weather is awesome and I..m caught up on the sleep I lost from our 22 hour drive accross Texas following Take Action. Take Action was really good the turnout wasn..t huge but it was still powerful. I..m enjoying things here though. We leave for the jungle in the morning though and will be there for about 8 days. I will update this when I get back and am able but yeah pray for us and for the people we will minister to.
Ok so its the 24th of October we are back in Lima. The jugle and Pucalpa was amazing we spent 4 days in the jungle 5 hours up river by boat from the city doing medical clinics. We saw at least 200 patients in the jungle and taught english during the day. At night we switched to a open air service and shared the gospel with some of the tribe. It was cool because the new chief who is 22 is totally open and excited about us beeing there., as well as the whole village. When we pulled up they were all out singing and playing instruments. The last night they had a seremony and we showed the Jesus film it was a cool time though. We then went back down river and did medical clinics and work projects in Pucalpa and saw at least 100 patients. Last night we did our main drama the Clincher and I shared a message/testimony and it ended up beeing really cool. We had like 40 people up front after the drama praying and all so that was cool. We flew back to Lima this morning got up at 3 and now we are in Lima we are going to the beach in a few hours maybe we will eat sebiche its this fish that is really popular in Peru but yeah its cold so I don..t know that I will be going swimming. I dont know what exactly we will be doing In Cusco in the moutain city but Im excited I know we are doing the medical clinics and I..ve been enjoying those. You all have fun and be safe and yeah pray for me when you think about it.
Holy crap its November 3rd we just flew back into Lima this morning. Ok so the night before we left for Cusco we had a church service and I shared my testimony and that was cool, once again it was exactly what these people needed to hear which I had no idea about untill after, yay for beeing led by the spirit hahaha. So then we flew to Cusco which is like 12000 feet. We were planning on spending like 3 or 4 days in a village called Tinta but there was rioting going on and the farmers had burned the bridges or otherwise made then impassible. So no medical clinics there. So we ended up doing some clinics in the cusco area and surrounding villages. The second day we went out of cusco and even higher. I ended up sharing a message after the clinic in our church service. I was supposed to have 15 minutes but at the last second they were like ohh can you make it 5 lol because the bus is waiting. Oh yeah the bus was waiting because the mayor was paying for it because he was so happy we were there he sent his representative people to thank us and give us this letter and he paid for our bus. So I think I got my point across in 5 minutes it was kinda hard though. Oh yeah also the drama we do we decided we wanted to do we had taken a day to learn and a week to perfect and in 45 minutes we learned new parts. It was kinda funny watching because the counts were off but the message came through strong. So on the third and fourth day I was all sick just as I..m thinking man I guess I..m not going to get whatever alot of the team had. Eck it sucked the bathroom was the friend I never wanted hahaha but I..m better now. We went to Machu Picchu the other day it was amazing, really beautifull too. Then we took a train to some random spot of took these vans around the mountains and almost died several times but it was a nice view of the 1000 foot drop lol. Well I'm gonna get going here I've got to get some stuff done still but you all have fun. Ok so I'm back in the states now but I thought I would wrap up the last week that I had in Lima before I came back. We spent about 5 days in Lima we were planning on doing clinics in Lima but in our world plans change. So we ended up doing services in several of the schools and teaching english. We got to do our dramas in the schools which was amazing we had like 40 people at one school service that made decisions to rededicate their lives or give them to God which was really cool. We also got to go to an orphanage we did our dramas with clowns and just hung out with kids and played with them. We also did a clinic there with the kids. I think that kinda sums up my trip for the most part. It was a great trip and I had a really great time with all the ministry. Well thank you for praying for me and supporting everyone who did.